Writing and Depression

Hey, guys. Bit of an important post today. 😦 I don’t remember if I’ve share it or not, but I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety. And when episodes creep up and hit me, it means my writing and reading, and just about anything else I love doing can just stop in its tracks.

I’m sorry. I wish I had some better news for you guys today, but I don’t. 😦

So, I wanted to have a new novella out around the 20th. “She Watches You Sleep” is my working title. I love the story and the characters, and I really REALLY want to share it with everyone. But it’s just not going to happen as soon as I thought. 😦 sorry, everyone. I want to write, more than anything. but sometimes, I just can’t.

Depression is a real thing, and it’s hard. I don’t know where the cliche that Depression makes writers better and more creative came from, but it’s a load of crap.

my depression doesn’t make me better at writing. it makes me not what to do anything but eat and sleep and cry. (And scream at everyone. anger creeps in at the weirdest times among the sad feelings.) then i feel guilty for feeling that way when my life isn’t bad. I’ll think about how there are people out there with “Real” problems, and I’m not one of them. I’ll think I should just suck it up and keep working. even though I know logically that I can’t help it. chemical imbalances and all that jazz.

Sometimes, I’ll try to force myself to read or write through the depressive episode, but it doesn’t work. nothing I write sounds good to me and I just keep hitting backspace and feel terrible that I can’t work. and this terrible awful cycle continues…

it’s hard. its just so freaking hard.

I want to write. I want to read. I want to do and enjoy the things I love. but sometimes I just can’t. sometimes I just have rough patches, and the only thing I can do is hang in there and wait it out. for me, my depression and anxiety problems are like being stuck on a rollercoaster. there are crazy ups and downs. And sometimes, I’m just stuck on the down parts.

I’ll pull through though. eventually, the depressive episode will lift. and I should be feeling better soon. it’s always darkest before the sun comes out, right?

until then? hang tight, my dear readers and followers. I’ll get something new out to share with you soon. I’ll try and see if I can get some reviews posted, but no promise.

Until then? Happy Reading, my friends. I love you guys. If anyone you all out there struggle with mental illness? I feel you. you’re not alone.

Happy Reading. Thank you for understanding.

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